Fat Habits...

One of the things I really love about walking is that it gives me time to think.  Most of the time I think about what I can't wait to do when I lose weight, the clothes I'll get to wear, and how much better I'll feel.  Other times I think about what a pain it is to be so overweight.  Tonight, it was the latter. This train of thought continued after I left the gym and is still running through my mind.  I'm guessing that the fact I am so sore has something to do with it as I know that this wouldn't happen to someone physically fit after doing so little.  I mean, I didn't even get past two sets with my arms on Tuesday because I could tell I had already pushed myself harder than before and was looking at some future pain.  Then on Thursday, I pushed myself on the treadmill to walk a consistent 3.5 mph and even jogged a total of four minutes at 4.5 mph.  Wow! Four whole minutes, how exciting!  Well, it was for me.  Then, I did one whole set of leg exercises on four different machines followed by some lunges.  As I hit my 8th rep of lunges, I felt something tweak in both my groin and quad... so I did some stretching and headed home.  I've been struggling to sit on a toilet like a normal person ever since.  Bonus to being an athlete in the past is that I know the soreness will pass and I'll be laughing at this post in a month or two.  However, it does lead me to consider the numerous things that have become a part of my overweight life.  Things that I have done in the past, but don't do as much now that I'm trying to get healthier.

• Staying up insanely late and then sleeping 10+ hours on the weekends.  Or, staying up way too late and only getting 4-5 hours of sleep during the week.
• Buying $30-$40 worth of take out and eating it all in one night.
• Binge watching TV or movies and mindlessly eating snacks while I sit on the couch.
• Reading book after book, day after day and only knowing it's a beautiful day outside when I take a minute to hit the bathroom.
• Only showering every two-three days because it is such a pain to try to clean every flubbery bit of my body.  (Think I'm gross, but more people do this than you realize. Deodorant and body spray are amazing things!)
• Wearing the same outfits every week because I have such a small collection of clothes that actually fit.  I have two bureaus and a closet and a half full of clothes... They just don't fit.  Every time I get too big for something, I add it to my collection in hopes that I will soon be able to fit into it again. I can almost fit into a pair of gray slacks that I bought last year when I hit 255.  It's a little crazy how excited I am about that...
• Always having an excuse as to why I can't participate in the faculty-student games or show my athletes how to complete drills. When in reality, I'm not able to do either because I'll embarrass myself.  By the time Spring rolls around, I want this to be a thing of the past!
• Only taking pictures when the camera is at a high angle.  And from the neck up.  And only with a closed mouth smile because showing my teeth also means showing how huge my chipmunk cheeks get! And... 95% of the time only when I'm wearing make-up...
• Not dating.  Mainly because I'm afraid of what guys will think of me when they see me and also the fact that I have convinced myself that no one would ever want to date a "fat chick" like me.  We won't even get into how long it has been since I've slept with anyone...
• Dealing with having a period that either last weeks/months or ends up MIA for weeks/months, and not really doing anything about it because I know what the doctors are going to say.  "Lose weight."  "You're hormones are out of balance because of your weight."  Blah, blah, blah... I've heard it a few times now.  I get it...
• Having constant acne because of the amount of sugar I take in every day.
• Watching my dog slowly become overweight because I can't take her out to play for longer than five minutes without becoming winded.
• Letting clutter build up in my apartment because I'm too "tired" (lazy) to clean up after myself and having to spend one day every other week doing a mass clean.

I know I'm missing some stuff that should be on this list, but the more I think about this stuff, the more annoyed with myself I get.  This is for a couple different reasons... On one hand, I can't believe that I have been such a lazy slob off and on for the past few years.  Then, on the other hand, I find myself kind of missing some of those obnoxious habits.  WTF!?

I'm up late... But I'm NOT sleeping 10+ hours!