Everyone has a starting point. With weight, it often comes with a starting point followed by a stopping one, then starting, stopping, starting, stopping, starting... Until you finally reach that juncture in life where you realize that this is something you can control. There are always excuses and different reasons why someone strays from their path, but there are also just as many (if not more) reasons to steer back on to the desired course. This is where I am.
Currently I would say I am at one of the lowest points in my life. I constantly think about how I'm just not good enough and am beyond just unhappy. I'm overweight, single, can't keep up with my bills, and spend most of my time wallowing in self pity. I always used to laugh at people talking about their "internal clocks" and the desire to do more with their life before they reach a point where they can no longer do as much as they once could. Now, I'm one of those people. I want kids. I want to find someone who I love so much that I want to marry and have a family with. I want to explore the world. Most of all, I want to do all of these things unrestrained by my own weight. I want to be happy with my life and myself.
It's time to take back control. No more talking or dreaming about the life I could have if I wasn't stuck in such an obese body. No more making excuses and blaming circumstances. No more believing that the reason my life is in such disarray is because of my physical state. No more.
I decide what goes in my mouth, how much exercise I get, and the people I surround myself with. My past is exactly where it belongs, in the past, and it will no longer dictate my future. No sob stories, no more excuses.
Now for real life...
I originally wrote the above post over a month ago. I've been actively trying to lose weight now for about a week and a half. Funny right? I was all inspirational and thought that I was going to "grab life by the horns" and finally get a grip on life. In no time I'd be pulling on my skinny jeans and laughing to myself as I saw guys out of the corner of my eye staring at me because I'm a hot woman, instead of a jiggling mess. Where's the big buzzer you hit when you're so wrong that you deserve a slap in the face?
So what went wrong? What took me from some infomercial personality to binge eating pizza, pasta, Chinese food, and well, anything I could stuff in my face? I'd like to say I had some real, honest to God reason to fall off the band wagon so fast, but I'd be lying. Honestly, I got some news shortly after I crashed and burned that should have inspired me to make a change immediately. But I didn't. Instead I fell further down the rabbit hole of self-pity and continued with my awesomely awful eating habits and laziness.
What changed? I went for a walk. Whoopty freakin doo, right? Was this some magical walk that just made everything click into place and now I'm some amazing dieting goddess? Nope. However, it was a chance for me to think. Uninterrupted and uninfluenced thinking. I went back to my infomercial self for probably about 20 minutes of that walk, and then I got real with myself. If I'm going to pull myself out of a depression and maybe start actually feeling better about myself physically and mentally, then I need to pull my head out of my a**.
Step One: Get all the crap in my fridge and cupboards out and healthier stuff in.
Step Two: Move more. Duh.
Step Three: Cut the *hit. "Excuses are like *ssholes, everyone's got one."
I'm sure there are a million other steps I should have added, but starting small is kind of important as I tend to bail if I've got too much I'm trying to do at once.
What's working so far?
I'm eating better and moving more.
What's not working?
I'm still not loving life right now. That's a work in progress.
Oh, and that bad news from above? Triglycerides: 597. Desired level: <150. I'm in the "Very High/Dangerously High" Category.
Cool kid. Right here.
I originally wrote the above post over a month ago. I've been actively trying to lose weight now for about a week and a half. Funny right? I was all inspirational and thought that I was going to "grab life by the horns" and finally get a grip on life. In no time I'd be pulling on my skinny jeans and laughing to myself as I saw guys out of the corner of my eye staring at me because I'm a hot woman, instead of a jiggling mess. Where's the big buzzer you hit when you're so wrong that you deserve a slap in the face?
So what went wrong? What took me from some infomercial personality to binge eating pizza, pasta, Chinese food, and well, anything I could stuff in my face? I'd like to say I had some real, honest to God reason to fall off the band wagon so fast, but I'd be lying. Honestly, I got some news shortly after I crashed and burned that should have inspired me to make a change immediately. But I didn't. Instead I fell further down the rabbit hole of self-pity and continued with my awesomely awful eating habits and laziness.
What changed? I went for a walk. Whoopty freakin doo, right? Was this some magical walk that just made everything click into place and now I'm some amazing dieting goddess? Nope. However, it was a chance for me to think. Uninterrupted and uninfluenced thinking. I went back to my infomercial self for probably about 20 minutes of that walk, and then I got real with myself. If I'm going to pull myself out of a depression and maybe start actually feeling better about myself physically and mentally, then I need to pull my head out of my a**.
Step One: Get all the crap in my fridge and cupboards out and healthier stuff in.
Step Two: Move more. Duh.
Step Three: Cut the *hit. "Excuses are like *ssholes, everyone's got one."
I'm sure there are a million other steps I should have added, but starting small is kind of important as I tend to bail if I've got too much I'm trying to do at once.
What's working so far?
I'm eating better and moving more.
What's not working?
I'm still not loving life right now. That's a work in progress.
Oh, and that bad news from above? Triglycerides: 597. Desired level: <150. I'm in the "Very High/Dangerously High" Category.
Cool kid. Right here.
No comments:
Post a Comment