Collar Bones

I miss my collar bones.  I really miss my collar bones.  I'm starting to think I have a weird obsession with the fact that my collar bones are not visible and are instead buried under layers of fat.  I'm always looking in the mirror to see if maybe they're starting to appear, or trying to feel them to see if they now magically stick out more.  I have convinced myself over the past week that they are starting to stick out more... Then I look in the mirror and realize that they really aren't.  Obsessive... Yup.

In other news, obviously I'm alive and I'm doing a couple new things.  Not totally new, but new to this blog.  

The Biggest Loser Challenge is still going on at school.  Pot is well over $300 for the winner, over $100 for 2nd place, so the competition has been pretty stiff.  I'm currently in 4th place and slightly annoyed by that fact as I do think I would be doing better if I hadn't lost a full week to the flu.  It wasn't the "lose 10 lbs." flu, it was the "run an insanely high fever and want to stuff your face 24/7" flu.  The achiness was pretty impressive and not something I feel like experiencing ever again if I can avoid it.  And no... I did not get my flu shot.  There were five of us that got the flu at work.  I am the only one who did not get the flu shot and I was not the first one who got it.  It's still up for debate as to whether or not I will get the shot next year.

Next new thing: Shredders Challenge.  Basically, a trainer at the gym has set up a weekly meeting where a group of us weigh in and then do a little seminar together with the trainer.  She talks us through different things and helps give ideas as to how to avoid stuff/challenges that pop up.  The biggest part of the whole challenge is the food plan.  She gave us a list of foods at the beginning of the challenge that we can eat.  We can ONLY eat off the list.  The quick and dirty on the list is that we're sticking with clean foods.  The first couple weeks were crazy tough, but things are starting to get easier.  Ironically, I am having a hard time eating enough calories and I feel like I'm eating all the time.  There are certain foods I am starting to get sick of, so I'm planning on trying to use some new recipes this week.

It took a bit to get back to where I was before I quit smoking, and now I am finally below that point and continuing to work my way down!

And I'm exhausted... Good night.

Let's Talk About Excuses...

What's a good excuse?  What's a bad one?

Wait, before we get into that... The fricken cupcake.  Eyeroll, Sigh, Single Finger Salute!

I ate half of it at lunch with the intention of saving the rest for dessert Thursday night.  I'm a teacher.  More specifically, I'm a Title I Reading Teacher who works closely with kids who often forget there are boundaries.  I knew I had to hide that cupcake if I wanted it to make it home.  I didn't hide it well enough.  When I went to pull it out of the basket I had put it in (and then put on top of a 7' shelf), I discovered that it was missing most of the frosting!  It was in a plastic container!  A mouse did not do that, but I'm suspicious of a certain student of mine who had red stained lips at the end of the day.  At first I was super annoyed and then... I was still annoyed, but also okay with it.  Talk about removing temptation.

ANYWAYS!

I've mentioned excuses before in a preachy manner and then in a more realistic one, but I have to ask the question; when are excuses legit?  Do you truly believe that excuses never are good enough? I'm torn right now, because I know I could have planned better and prepared myself for what I knew was going to be a potential disaster tonight.  I had biopsies done today.  Cervical and Endometrial (any guys still reading?).  By no means are these debilitating procedures, but they are not exactly comfortable.  Kind of like having menstrual cramps from hell... that last for hours and hours and potentially days.  Was I in the mood for my normal 3.5-4 miles walk afterwards?  Hell no!  Did I want a salad?  Definitely NOT!  Did I eat pizza and wings?  Yup.  Did I eventually use my stepper and at least reach 12,000 steps by the end of the day?  Uh huh.  Do I feel like a total failure right now?  Actually, no.  It's an interesting feeling to not feel like my day was a total disaster.  Oh darn, I'm still not perfect.  Shocker right there.

So is getting biopsies done that make me feel like s--t a good excuse?  I'll put that one somewhere in the middle.  I could have planned better, but feeling like crap is a hard thing to plan for as I don't regularly have to have my cervix pried open (since apparently it decided to close completely prior to this procedure).  I don't have kids.  I'm not familiar with that certain area of my body being cranked on.  It sucked.  I'm okay with not doing it again and therefore, hopefully will not be worrying about this as an excuse again!  Am I perseverating then? (Hey Blogger... Perseverating is a word, stop fricken telling me I'm spelling it wrong!) Yes... and no.  Excuses.  When can I tell myself that it's okay that I screwed up?  Only in extreme situations?  I'll go nuts. Again, I hate planning, but apparently I really need to get over that.

The snoring dog next to me is kind of a sign that it's past my bed time.